catcall

Put it in one of those childproof medecine containers and save it for later

They say let anger go. They say it's poison, that it can do no good, that we should want clean slates and new beginnings.

They are wrong.

I've been thinking about my life and the lives of my best friends. I've been thinking how many times in a life does a cell phone really get thrown into a wall in the middle of a conversation? How many times in a life has a person walked by on the street that should say hello but they don't and by not doing so, crush you harder than if they had told you to fuck off to your face? How many times in a life do you find yourself sitting in a car while the person driving is talk talk talking and what they are saying has never made you feel more alone or small and where all you want to do is get out of the car and at that moment in time it does not matter that the car is STILL MOVING?

How many times? If you are like me or my some of my friends the answer is: Once. Twice. Tops three or four times.

For me those rare moments of real anger are moments of clarity, of true stark contrast and of very gritty -and yes, angry- truth. It's a moment where there is no gray and no indecision and certainly no room for misinterpretation. It's a moment of black or white where there is no question about the dynamic between us. It's primal and it's fucked up and yes it is severe...but it's key to remembering why certain people are out of our lives.

I say be healthy and move on and let most of it go. I try to live that way. But that part of it all, the hard part that hurt so much? Bottle that part up and save it for later and be happy that you have it. Because just like a vaccination where they give you a little dose of measles so you don't get a big nasty case later on, it is exactly what will help you from not having it happen again.

posted by gracegow @ 3:58 PM