Sweetheart
"She is extremely thoughtful about everything she does. What a sweetheart."The above statement was made about who?:
A) Condoleeza Rice
B) Jenna Jamison
C) Jen Oliver*
D) Luna The Dog
Answer:
D - My dog! The dog walker lady just said Luna is a perfect little angel in her report card. Yes, Luna gets a report card after every outting. Ah, parenthood. I'm so proud.
A dog report card reports many important benchmarks in a doggie outting day. The report card covers: Did she go #1? Did she go #2? Did she make any new friends? Did she listen well? Did she have fun? Did she sleep in the car ride home?
Well isn't that odd. Luna's report card looks awfully similar to the criteria that I have been using to measure the relative success and happiness of my own days lately.
*My 4th grade nemisis who thought it would be funny to steal my winter hat with the big yarn poof ball off my head on the schoolbus. That bitch. Whatever. She never dated any cool boys in high school and is probably still mean (not like that matters because she'll always be evil in my mind) and the last I heard is still not cute AT ALL. Who's laughing now, HUH JEN? WHO! Oh wait. That would be ME. Now don't touch my hat again. Ever.
posted by gracegow @ 11:44 AM
<< Home