Do Not Call
No less than 48 hours after the end of the partypalooza funfest that I will call Thanksgiving weekend, I received not one but TWO calls from "Nate". "Nate" is apparently the alias that has been assigned to the gym employee who is actually "He Who Will Remind You That Not Only Are Your Pants Tight But Your Wrists Are Getting Fatter Too".Hey Nate:
I love the personal attention, really I do. I love that you were told to delve into the you_have_been_a_lazy_ass.doc spreadsheet and do a sort on the Not Been Here In A Long Fucking Time column. I even love that my name shot to the top of that column. But what I would love the MOST would be for you to copy/paste me into another special roster of gym members.
Please put me on your Do Not Call list. If you do not have one of these going, please start it now. I would like to remain in blissful denial about my holiday lethargy, inactivity, and consumption and deal with it when the tulips sprout and the cherry blossoms bloom. If you do not abide by my wishes I will be left with no other alternative than to hurl leftover stuffing and pecan pie and homemade whip cream at your head the way monkeys throw poop at each other in their cages at the zoo. Thank you Nate, and have a nice Christmas/Kwanza/Channukah.
posted by gracegow @ 11:10 AM
<< Home